Hello… It’s Me. It has been a while ( 5 months but who is counting) since I last posted an actual BLOG post. I have been really concentrated on posting podcasts for you guys, which I hope you have been enjoying?! If this is your first visit, you can find The Wild Soul Podcast on iTunes!

If you didn’t already know, I have been in Bali for the past few weeks and I am loving it here. I have felt super inspired to write a million things. Thoughts in my head about future endeavours, ideas, the what ifs… My mind has been all over the place in a good way. Before I left, I was really worried about my 10 year high school reunion coming up and murmuring to myself on how old I thought I was.  Truth be told, I haven’t felt a single worry here in Bali. No anxiety about the future or where my life is going (or isn’t right now). Maybe it’s because I have no stress here (it’s Bali after all) and there is nothing to worry about LOL. Anyway, besides that point, I didn’t realize that this week marked 10 years since my graduation ceremony! FTW?

So, in honour of this week marking 10 freaking years off the calendar, I thought that this would be a great opportunity to write about what I have learned these past 10 years out of high school.

1. It’s Ok If You Don’t Know What You Want To Do When You “Grow Up”

I remember stressing the FUCK out, after graduation. Everyone I knew was going to some sort of post secondary education, so it only felt right if I followed the crowd too. My dad especially wanted me to go, even though I had literally no idea what I wanted to study. He said it didn’t matter what I studied, just that I was studying something. I was very fortunate that my parents had put aside money for me to continue my education. I felt obligated to go as they were saving for this moment for the majority of my whole life! So I took general studies and took a bunch of random courses until I found a niche that I enjoyed the most. I just wanted to make my parents proud and finish something- get that expensive piece of paper and “be successful”.

I graduated with a degree in Criminology, 4.5 years after high school. Everyone asked me if I had plans to go to law school after and become a lawyer (LOL). The mere thought of doing more school literally made my want to shit in my hands and clap. I hated school! Sitting and listening for hours and hours a day, taking notes and writing essays…no more! I realized I only stayed and completed school to make my parents happy, not for myself. The knowledge I was learning was interesting, but I just couldn’t see myself working a 9-5 job or shift work in the field. Flash forward to now, you guessed it; I am not working with Criminology  ( I mean there is still time, who knows when that piece of paper will come in handy) and haven’t gone back to any traditional school or way of learning.

Through that post secondary experience, I learned in hindsight that it is OK TO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WAN TO DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! If I could do it all over again, I would take a year or two for myself- to chill. We are in school from a very young age until our early adulthood (or longer). School institutionalizes us- makes us sit down, shut up, pay attention, obey authority and lessens the creative expression and experience (in my opinion). I believe a few years to work, travel, play and learn out of school would have been extremely valuable. If you are in this season of your life now, and don’t have a clue, you aren’t alone. You are not a bad person if you want to take your own time to figure it out. Plus, save yourself the student loan debt! Seriously, talk about stressful!  This is YOUR life- not your parents or anyone else’s. And, if you decided to go to school but you still don’t know, thats ok too. Some of my dearest and closest friends to this day, I met in college. And I will forever be grateful for that.

2. Your Friends In High School Might Not Be Your Friends Out Of High School

This one hit me hard. When I was graduating, I couldn’t imagine not being friends with all my girls I spent the last 6-8 years of my life with. We did everything together, had the same interests and wanted the same things in life (or so I thought). For me, it was about the age of 22-24 when friendships I had for years started to dwindle. I remember being so upset and sad that we didn’t have the time to hang like we once did. People take different paths; school, move, travel. People go on their way and it takes legit effort to keep a friendship. In high school, you see these people every day, so the effort required is minimal. Once you leave, I believe you need to nurture the relationships you value. It also has to be a two way street. One friend might be putting in more effort than the other, and after a while, that will start to wear on a person. There is give and take in relationships, and if one of you is doing most of the giving, it will make you resentful.

Once you leave the high school environment, you may also find that the relationships you were fostering were actually toxic. You might have been friends with someone because they were “popular” and you wanted to be liked and fit in. Or maybe you had that friend who was passive aggressive and liked to put you down. There were lots of scenarios that I endured when I was younger because I thought high school relationships defined me and that they would last forever. The truth is you change A LOT in your 20’s and unfortunately, some friendships end. But (cue the corny line) when one door closes, another one opens. You meet new friends, with different outlooks and new perspectives. Some people are meant to stay, others just stay for seasons, but they are all teachers.  Fast forward 10 years, I am still friends with a few friends from high school. It took planning, it took scheduling time, but I am so happy we both made the continuous effort to be there for each other (you bitches know who you are- I LOVE YOU!).

3. Travel Is Important

Like really important! Exploring the world, seeing how other people live outside of your bubble will not only humble you, but change your perspective in more ways than one. I traveled during my middle and high school days, but I will never forget the trips I went on my own after graduation. Traveling without your parents is a different experience then spending the summer at Auntie Kathy’s. There were countless lessons I learned on my trip to Thailand, and even here now in Bali traveling alone. I just believe that travel is the only thing you can spend your money on and come home richer. There are faces you meet that can turn into world wide friendships, cultural experiences etc. I know I still have a big world to see and explore, but I also know that if I didn’t take the time to travel and see what else lies outside my hometown, I would deeply regret it.

4. Your Plan Will Change

When I say this, I’m talking about the plan you have in your mind when you walk across that stage at commencement. The “I’m going to be married by 25, have 2.5 kids, white picket fence and a golden retriever” plan. Maybe you didn’t have this plan in your head…maybe it was similar, or totally different. If I have learned anything, it is that expectations and planning your life in every detail can really make you feel like a bag of dicks. You end up stressed, disappointed and feel like you failed. Your plan will probably change. A “random” moment or event (nothing is ever random) directs you to a different path you somehow didn’t think about before.

To be honest, the only real plan I had in my head was that I was going to be ok. I had a lot of friends have their lives planned out and the age they wanted to settle down at, fall through. Be kind to yourself and know that you are on this path for a reason. I believe we have already chose our path here, and that our time will come. Don’t force or rush anything. Nature doesn’t rush or force and yet everything is accomplished. Have goals for sure and work towards what you want, just allow leeway and allow yourself time. It’s ok to change your path. You want to avoid being disappointed? Have zero expectations.

5. Health & Fitness Is Important

I used to hate gym class. Pretty funny looking back at that thought now,  as my career is yoga 🙂 I would skip class all the time because they would make us run (and I hated running). I think I didn’t go to class because I wasn’t doing the exercise I enjoyed. It takes time to find what you like in fitness. It is suppose to be fun, because if it isn’t, you won’t do it. I also came to the realization that I am not invincible like I thought I was in high school. Taking care of your health and body is important. Eating shit food will make me feel like shit. Working 80 hours a week will stress me out and take years off my life. Slowing down and taking care of my body (aka my temple) has not only been a huge realization, but it has also had so many benefits. You’ve got this one body, take care of it and it will take care of you.

6. You Will Learn To Not Care About What Other People Think

This one took a long time to conquer. Actually that is a lie… deep down, somewhere, we will always have a little bit of this inside us. Wanting to impress other people, wanting to be liked…wondering what people think. I have  learned over the years to not care as much as I once did. This quote I read (I know someone reading this will know who said it) went like this, “What you think of me is none of my business”. As hard as it may sound to master, letting this quote guide you in your relationships will help you give less shits. Once I realized that I was being controlled by other peoples opinions and judgements, I was able to ask myself if that was really serving me (obviously it was not). Invest in personal development classes, stay in your lane and avoid gossiping. Small minds discuss people and great minds discuss ideas. Once you start discussing more ideas than people, you will realize those opinions don’t pay your bills, and probably won’t make you happy, so all the reason to let them bounce off you and back to the people who spoke them.

7. It’s Ok To Experiment

Experiment with ideas that you wouldn’t normally do. Take dance classes, travel, get outside your comfort zone. Go to themed parties, eat the weird food, date all the people, drink that mushroom shake (haha joking… or maybe not. Be safe guys). How will you know what you like if you don’t experiment with life? I have done a lot in the last 10 years and yes made tons of mistakes, but that is how you learn. That is how you know what you will and won’t tolerate. Have fun while you do it. Know thyself and love thyself.

8. People Will Pass- Don’t Take Life For Granted

I remember when the first person in our graduation class passed away. That funeral was heavy and sad. I remember this person being such a light; a kind person who always made me feel special. I could tell that he made a lot of people feel that way with the amount of people who showed up to pay their respects. I had the realization then that life is so fucking short. We take our breath for granted and fight about stupid little things. If you are unhappy in a job, quit. If you want to go travel, do it! It sounds like a cliche, but we only have this one life right now, and we are meant to live it. Seeing numerous people pass away that I used to see in the halls of my high school really made me think about what I want to leave behind when I go. People will remember how you made them feel. Death brings people closer together. It makes you appreciate the quiet little moments. Death has a way of making you live again.

9. You Don’t Need Alcohol To Fit In

If you have been reading my blog recently, or been listening to my podcast, you will know that this one took me a long time to realize. Even before high school, all my friends and I would binge drink on the weekends for something to do. That habit continued into my 20’s, and although I thought I had it under control, I didn’t. I drank because I though I was funny, more likeable and confident. I would drink because I thought I was letting people down if I didn’t (so dumb). I thought by not drinking that would make people uncomfortable (it kinda does sometimes) but really it just made me uncomfortable. I thought I had to have this liquid courage in situations. Turns out that was a lie. Binge drinking unfortunately is kind of the thing to do in college, and most times it trickles into our adult life. I could get really deep and talk about this whole matrix we are in, but I will spare you. I have found that alcohol lowers your vibrations and although you feel great during the party, it really just makes you feel like shit afterwards.

People will still like you if you pass on the booze (or any drug for that matter) and believe it or not you can still have a good time sober. If they don’t like you, then it’s time to hang in a new crowd. I wish I realized this earlier as it could have saved me money, my mornings and the bags under my eyes LOL. In all seriousness, if alcohol is something you struggle with, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. It is way more common than you might realize, and I can tell you I have no regrets kicking it out of my life. You find this inner confidence you didn’t know you had. You deal with your feelings. It is a really beautiful thing.

10.  It’s About The Journey

Corny, but true yo. How boring is a road trip when you have to get to some town at a certain time? You speed past all the cool scenery, the towns, the people. You get tired, cranky and really need to pee. Now think of a road trip where you didn’t have to be anywhere fast. You stopped at all the cool sight seeing areas, you had lunch, you listened to music and let that fresh breeze touch your skin. It was relaxing and chill. It was about the journey to get to your destination. Remember, none of us are getting out of this place alive. We will all get there someday. Stop rushing your destiny. Have faith it will come. Have fun while crushing those dreams of yours and don’t take yourself too seriously in the process.

 

Well, there’s my 2 cents, actually 10 cents on what I have learned these past ten years. Damn, those years went by fast. I am sure you feel it too; that life is short and death is certain. These lessons have been essential on my path and I know no one could have told me this unless I experienced it all for myself. Maybe you have learned similar lessons too, and if you have, I’d love to hear them. What have you learned? Would you change anything? Let me know in the comments below.

Here’s to the next 10 years…(oh god)

Namaste